Who else loves Tim Lincecum's hair?

So it was announced today that Tim Lincecum barely beat out the two Cardinals aces for the NL Cy Young award in what was one of the closest votes in history.  I'm not that big a baseball fan anymore, but those three pitchers (Lincecum, Adam Wainwright, and Chris Carpenter) have to be three of my favorites in the game.  Two of them are obviously so, because they play for my hometown team...and they're really good.

Lincecum, though, has other interesting characteristics.  By complete coincidence, I happened to catch his first career MLB start on May 6, 2007.  I'm not even sure why I watched that ESPN Sunday Night Game between the Giants and Phillies, because by that time I had already lost most of my interest in baseball, which had peaked during the golden days of fantasy baseball in college and a little after.  In any case, I remember being impressed by the Giants starter, who had a shaky first inning debut but ended up striking out 3.  He was a young guy of relatively slight build (for a pitcher anyway), and he had some lights-out stuff.  In my mind, he immediately drew comparisons to Roy Oswalt.

Anyway, it's about two-and-a-half years later, and that kid has two Cy Young awards to his name.  Since that day, I've seen Lincecum pitch in person - I was lucky enough to draw his starting position in the rotation when I went to a Giants-A's game in San Francisco earlier this summer (June 12).  He didn't absolutely dominate that day, but he tossed a complete game without giving up any runs.

So when it came time to decide who to root for in the Cy Young race, I had a tough time choosing.  I figured that one of the Cardinals would get it, since the Giants didn't do very well this year and Lincecum had a low win total.  But between the two Cards pitchers, I couldn't pick either - Wainwright tossed more innings and had more wins, but Carpenter had mostly better statistics otherwise.  I was pretty surprised to learn that Lincecum took the award, but in a way I way was glad.  It would have been nice for a Cardinal to win it, but I couldn't choose one over the other.  And my favorite pitcher over the last couple of years did win after all.

Oh, and did I mention how awesome his hair is?  I mean, look at that thing:

This is a screenshot of the video of his reaction after winning the award today, which you can check out here.  Maybe his hair is the reason he won it.  You don't see mops like that on many major league players.

Hilarious headline

Nigeria 2-1 U.S.: Obinna winner dooms U.S.

The best part: another goal was set up by Chinedu.

Rose Bowl!

The 9-3 Fighting Illini football team are the fortunate beneficiaries of the BCS turmoil this season, and will be headed to the Rose Bowl game on New Year's Day. There, they will face those pesky Trojans of USC (boo...hiss...).

My major complaint about the BCS selections this year is the absence of Mizzou (it's a friendly rivarly...for me at least). The Tigers beat two teams who will be playing in BCS bowl games (Illinois and Kansas) and their only two losses were to another BCS-bound team (Oklahoma). They should be playing in the Orange Bowl instead of Kansas.

28 seconds too slow.

This past Saturday, I fell short of my goal to run the Spirit of St. Louis 5K in under 25 minutes. However, I did post a time that was good enough for 60th place overall. Check out the full results here.

Illinois athletes are emulating the Cincinnati Bengals.

This is probably not a good thing. Two football players have joined their basketball counterparts in a competition to determine who can get in the most trouble with the law. Read the story here.

Fitness update.

I've long espoused the belief that the age of 25 years is when an athlete, or a man in general, is at his prime. As that is my current age, I feel that it's time for me to get in the best shape of my life...or at least since high school wrestling.

To that end, I began training for the Spirit of St. Louis 5K run in April last week. I guess a few months of playing soccer once or twice a week has gotten me on the right path, as it seems to be going fairly well so far. I ran a 7:05 mile a couple of days ago, which is faster than I can ever remember running a timed mile (but still over a minute above one of my life goals). The race is still over 10 weeks away, so I'm thinking about upgrading my target from sub-29:00 to sub-25:00. This would take some work, as it would shatter my personal best by over 4 minutes, but I still have plenty of time to prepare. Hopefully I don't burn out.

I've also seemed to have lost some weight, as I weighed in under 160 pounds earlier tonight. To be fair, this was after a soccer game followed by a 1.5 mile run, and before I ate dinner. However, it would still seem that I'm somewhere around 165, which is a weight I haven't seen in a while. This isn't too surprising considering I haven't lifted weights (I gain the most weight while I'm lifting) in almost 1.5 years. Too bad this also means that my once-threatening guns are fairly puny these days.

Let me preface this by saying that I like Rex Grossman...

...but this picture is HILLARIOUS!



Thanks to Tommy Musick for forwarding that to me.

We're goin' to the 'ship!

Cardinals!

Zizou international.

Here are a few interpretations of how the headbutt by Zinedine Zidane was seen in different countries around the world:

In Germany:











In France:











In Italy:











In the U.S.A.:











In Hong Kong:











Thanks to Robert for the e-mail.

Alan Schwarz picks the Cards to win it all...

...which is a little more surprising than my friend Alan Schwartz picking them to win the Series.

Anyway, read Alan's and the rest of the ESPN experts pics here. While you're at it, note Rob Neyer's pick for NL MVP.

ESPNsoccernet - Nigerian referees given permission to take bribes

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=363449&cc=5901

Wow. The motherland is struggling a little bit these days...

Wanted: soccer chicks.

My indoor soccer team is in need of more female players. We play on Tuesday nights sometime between 18:00 and 23:00. If you are interested or know someone who may be, please holler.

While we're on the topic of race...

People need to quit being so sensitive and "politically correct." According to this article, the Air Force Academy reprimanded their head football coach for rationalizing a loss to TCU by saying that they "had a lot more African-American players than [AFA] did and they ran a lot faster than [AFA] did." He further commented that "It just seems to [him] to be that way. African-American kids can run very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to [him] that they run extremely well."

What's wrong with that? Is anybody really going to argue that his comments were without merit? Don't mistake me as a member of the Fisher DeBerry fan club...this is the same guy who hung a banner which read "I am a Christian first and last ... I am a member of Team Jesus Christ" in the locker room last year, and we all know how Obi feels about religious intolerance. However, I don't think he should be reprimanded for stating something which is pretty much common sense.

Swingers Softball Recap (8/8/05)

The Swingers returned to the win column on Monday night, posting a 19 - 10 drubbing of Master Batters in a late night contest. The story of the evening was the breakout performance by Erik "K" Gutierrez, who blasted a two run homer to the deepest part of the park and tacked on 3 more RBI's after having gone 0 for his first 7 at bats of the season. Gutierrez, noticeably larger since his last appearance, refused to answer questions about steroids in the post game news conference. However, manager Christine Aylward did have this to say, "We hired a team of chemists, and it paid off big time tonight." Gutierrez was not tested after the game.

The Red Devils struggled to find their stroke through the first two innings, plating just one run on 5 hits. Fortunately for the visiting team starting pitcher Eric "ER" Ridenhour posted zeroes in both innings to keep the Swingers in the game. Then in the third inning, the bats woke up. Second Basewoman Melanie Ureta - Granger led the inning off by reaching on an error and advancing to second base. Jamaal Granger followed with a single to push Ureta to third, and Katie Stemmler notched her second RBI of the season with a ground out to the right side of the infield which forced out Granger at second. Gutierrez then followed with his first hit of the season, breaking out of his slump in a big way. "K's" blast traveled an estimated 487 feet to straight away center field, and the Swingers were ahead 4-0. They would score 8 more times in the frame, with RBI base hits by Christine Aylward, "ER" Ridenhour, and Jamaal Granger leading to another big hit by Gutierrez. "K" crushed a first pitch fastball to the gap in left centerfield that reached the wall, driving in two more runs. Unfortunately for the Swingers, Gutierrez was thrown out trying to score on the play. "He ran through my stop sign," said third base coach "ER" Ridenhour, "I don't know what he was thinking." When asked for comment, Gutierrez had this to say: "Apparently the juice doesn't make you any faster." After going down in order in both the 4th and 5th innings, the Swingers erupted again in their half of the 6th. The big hits of the inning were 2 RBI singles notched by Adam "Chuckie" Tsacoumangos and short shortstop Dan Higa. Ron Sturm and Christine Aylward both posted excellent games at the plate, with Sturm going 2-2 including a double, and Aylward going 2-4, scoring a run and driving in 2.

Eric "ER" Ridenhour posted a solid starting performance after a shaky outting last week to earn his 4th win of the season, and push his record over .500 at 4-3. He struck out two batters while walking just one and surrendering 5 runs. Coming on in relief Jason Brunick also performed well, also allowing 5 runs while striking out one and walking 3 in his 3 innings of work. Defensively it was a Jekyl and Hide night for the swingers, who made several sparkling plays, but also managed to look clueless on certain occasions. The big play of the evening was "ER" Ridenhour's catch of a scorching line drive up the middle in the second inning. With the bases loaded and one out, Ridenhour managed to stab the blistering liner, which would otherwise have ended up in centerfield and scoring at least two runs. "That was a game saving play early in the game," Commented J-Rod Ross, "If "ER" doesn't make that play, we're down early, it changes the whole complection of the game." Ridenhour was asked for comment after the game and said only, "It hurt like hell!" On the other end of the spectrum short shortstop Dan Higa commited his second error in as many games on would should have been a routine ground ball that skipped past him in the 4th inning. Also at fault was third basewoman Lynsey Winkler, who for the second consecutive game forgot what to do with the ball after she caught it. In the bottom of the sixth inning with the Swingers an out away from victory, Winkler fielded a sharp ground ball, but instead of throwing to first to end the game, she threw an errant ball home. "I get confused," said Winkler afterwards. "She has a talent for understatement," added catcher Bobbi "The General" Closser. Winkler redeemed herself on the next play however, when she snagged another grounder and threw to second to record the force out and seal the win.

After the game the Swingers announced that Winkler would be leaving the team on Thursday to join A.C. Milan of the Italian Serie A soccer league. Winkler's departure to European soccer had been rumored for weeks, and became a reality when Milan made it's final offer of $75 million for 4 years. "I'm pleased that they decided to pay me what I'm worth," said Winkler in a seperate news conference, "My time with the Swingers will be remembered fondly, but it's time for me to move up to better things." Manager Christine Aylward had this to say, "Lynsey helped us quite a bit down the home stretch. We'd like to keep her on, but our offer of $5, a Target gift card, and a six pack of root beer couldn't compare with what Milan could afford to spend."

The Swingers will rap up the season with two makeup games, the first of which is scheduled for 8:30pm next Monday night against Office Average. Good seats still remain, call the Swinger's ticket office today!

- Dan Higa

Swingers season statistics.

Another cool picture.

Two F-15s flying over the current and future Busch Stadiums.

Swingers Softball Recap (8/1/05)

The Swingers could not continue their hot streak on Monday night, dropping a heart breaker to office average by the score of 22-2. The loss snapped a two game win streak, and dropped the Red Devil record to 3-6. Nothing went right for the visiting team on a night that featured a 2 hour delay due to a rabies scare. A large grey dog attacked a vendor just before first pitch, and play was held during a search for the animal. Witnesses claim the dog was foaming at the mouth, and one woman asserted that Bobbi "the General" Closser was later seen stuffing the pooch into her locker in an attempt to hide it. Closser had no comment, and the rabid animal was not found.

The swingers added very little in the way of excitement on the field managing just 2 runs on 4 hits. Short Shortstop Dan Higa led the game off with a linedrive single to left field, took 3rd on a throwing error, and scored on a one out RBI single by Adam "Chuckie" Tsacoumangos. Despite playing in only 3 games, "Chuckie" is among the team leaders with 8 RBI for the season, and appears to have solidified a spot with the big club after his mid season call up from the AAA Poo Flingers of Monkey's Eyebrow, NM. Reporters had several questions for the rookie, but chief among them was how "Tsacoumangos" could be pronounced "Chuhkuhmayngus." Manager Christine Aylward had this to say. "Jarrod can't spell Jared, and Adam has 20 letters in his name. Our team is alphabetically challenged I guess." "We can't hit either," commented Erik "K" Gutierrez. Gutierrez was apparently speaking for himself after posting yet another 0-fer. The former all star has yet to record a hit in 6 at bats, although he has reached base once on an error. "We're working with the team doctors to find a way to get Erik back on steriods without the league finding out," commented Aylward.

The Swingers only other run came in the second inning. Katie Stemmler reached base on an error by the pitcher, who's dentures fell out while he attempted to field the ball. Ron Sturm then blasted a double to deep right center field that bounced up against the base of the wall, sending Stemmler to third. After Amber Moodie-Dyer's ground out failed to advance the runners, Eric "C" Ridenhour drove Stemmler home with a grounder to second base. It has been a frustrating year for Moodie-Dyer, who like "K" Gutierrez is sporting a collar for a batting average. The pair are joined by Kim Brunick and Glenna Anderson as the only members of the Swinger lineup that have yet to record a hit. "Landers" Anderson has apparently fled the country after learning of a demotion to AAA. "We tried to send her down to the minors to sort out her swing, but the next day she dissappeared." It is unclear if the Swingers will continue to pay the remaining $3 on Anderson's contract. Of the three players still on the roster, Brunick has been the most successfull, notching a .400 On-Base Percentage and scoring 2 runs.

Jason Brunick took the mound for the Swingers and quickly regretted it, allowing 12 runs, all earned, on 18 hits and 2 walks. He lasted just 2 innings of work. The outting ballooned Brunick's ERA to 11.12, up from a team leading 7.00. Eric "C" Ridenhour faired no better, pitching 2 innings of relief and also surrendering 12 runs. Defensively, the Red Devils played inconsistant defense, as evidenced by rookie Lynsey Winkler's performance at third base. With one out and a man on second in the second inning, Winkler fielded a sharp ground ball at the hot corner. She proceded to chase after the runner standing on second while short shortstop Higa yelled for a play at first base. Winkler pivoted and threw wildly, allowing a run to score. "I think she'd have done better if she had kicked it like a soccer ball," commented first baseman Ron Sturm, who despite his 6'0 frame could not handle the throw. One inning later, Winkler again made a play on hard hit grounder with the bases loaded. This time however, she threw a seed to Kristen Babb who stepped on home plate to record an out. It remains unclear if Winkler will remain with the Swingers, as AC Milan of Italy's Serie A soccer league has increased their offer to $53 million, according to reports. Winkler had no comment. Manager Christine Aylward and Short Shortstop Dan Higa also had some difficulties on the left side of the infield. Higa was unable to field a sharp ground ball after it took a nasty hop, and Aylward suffered the same fate on a ball that bounced clear over her head. "Christine should have dove," commented Higa. "That was just a weak effort." Higa has quickly developed a reputation in the clubhouse as intense and overly critical of the performance of his teammates. "I guess I'm just the only one that cares about winning," commented Higa.

The Swingers announced a bit of a scandal in a press release following the ballgame. In the release, the team disclosed the true age of second basewoman Melanie Ureta. Ureta, a Filipino by birth, apparently lied about her age when she entered the professional draft. "Lying about your age is fairly common among Cuban defectors who play in the big leagues, but this is the first case of a Filipino," commented Comissioner Bud Selig. Ureta, who is listed on the Swinger roster as a 25 year old, was revealed to be 32. "We don't care as long as she continues to play at a level that makes her a cornerstone of this team," commented Manager Aylward.

The Swingers will attempt to end the regular season on a high note next Monday night against Master Batters at 9:30pm. Good seats still remain, call the Swingers ticket office today!

- Dan Higa

Swingers season statistics.

Swingers Softball Recap (7/25/05)

The Swingers are showing signs of life and extended their winning streak to 2 games after a 22-2 drubbing of Office Average on Monday night. The Red Devils were victorious despite the loss of Manager Christine Aylward and first baseman Ron Sturm, both out due to suspension. Commisioner Bud Selig issued a one game rebuke for both Aylward and Sturm after the pair tag-teamed a camera man during practice earlier in the week. Sturm headlocked the assailed media employee while Aylward repeatedly kicked the man in and around the groin. The incident, captured on film, will cost both players a one game suspension and a $5,000 fine. Neither Aylward nor Sturm had any comment.

Short Shortstop Dan Higa took over managerial duties in Aylward's absence and fielded a slightly different looking lineup. Recent AAA call up Adam Tsacoumangos batted in J-Rod Ross's usual number 3 spot, and Jamaal Granger played first base for the first time this year. The moves paid off for Higa, as Tsacoumangos drove in 3 runs, and Ross 2. Granger also contributed with his first home run of the season, a solo blast that just cleared the wall in right field. It was the first of 3 RBIs for Granger on the evening. "I was inspired," said Granger, who was recently engaged to girlfriend and teammate Melanie Ureta. "My heart was on fire, and it showed on the field today." Several male teammates groaned in the locker room listening to Granger's mush. Ureta also contributed a solid performance, going 2-5, scoring a run, and driving in a pair with a 2 out second inning single. "Melanie is a cornerstone for us," commented interim manager Higa, "The moon will rise tonight, the sun will rise tomorrow, and Melanie will play second base." It was also a career night for the short shortstop, who reached base in all 5 at bats, scored 3 runs, and drove in 5.

On the mound, starter Eric Ridenhour pitched two solid innings, giving up just two runs and walking only 1 batter. It was enough to earn Ridenhour his second straight victory. Coming on in relief Jason Brunick tossed 3 scoreless frames and extended his scoreless streak to 6 consecutive innings. Brunick lowered his team leading ERA to a microscopic 7.00, while striking out 2 and walking 1. "He had excellent stuff tonight," said catcher Bobbi "The General" Closser, "His fastball was on the black of the plate, his curve had good break, and he mixed his speeds well all night." Defensively, the Swingers provided excellent defense for the pitching staff, highlighted by a sterling outfield assist at third base. Tsacoumangos handled a shallow fly ball that dropped just in front of him, and threw a strike to rookie call-up Lynsey Winkler at third base. Winkler applied the tag to give the Swingers a key second out in the 4th. Winkler was called up from the AA Badgers of Mobile, AL to boost the club during Aylward's suspension. It was a solid debut for the rookie, who reached base 3 times and scored twice. Winkler, also a soccer standout, is rumored to be in negotiations with A.C. Milan of the Italian Serie A. If the deal goes through it could be a blow to the Swinger's farm system, already depleted after midseason call ups to Tsacoumangos, Katie Stemmler, and Lindsay Mendro. Winkler had this to say about the deal: "I was a bit dissappointed with Milan's latest offer of just $46 million. We're still in negotiations, so I can't really comment any further. Please forward your questions to my agent." The only miscue for the Swingers occured when "The General" Closser failed to make a play on a foul pop up at home plate. "My dog barked and it distracted me," said Closser, who's new pet Buck Nasty was in attendance.

In a subplot to the evening, Erik "K" Gutierrez returned from substance abuse suspension to play in just his second game of the year. "K" Gutierrez was clearly not himself without the juice, posting another goose egg for the evening. He did, however, reach base on an error and score. "I'm like a dog with no teeth if I can't use my steroids," said Gutierrez, "It's no fair when I can't cheat!" Luckily for the Swingers, several other players helped pick up the slack. Kristen Babb picked up the first RBI of her career, and reached base in all 4 plate appearances, while Kim Brunick walked twice and scored before being lifted in the 3rd for "The General" Closser.

After the game the Swingers front office announced that they had made a trade deadline deal with Minnesotta to send outfielder Emily Hodapp and first baseman Brian McChesney to the Twins in return for cash considerations and a player to be named later. Hodapp, a clearly talented lefty, scored 3 runs in limited action for the Swingers. McChesney, also a left hander, batted .333 and drove in 5 while splitting time with Sturm at first. "We're sad to see half of our left handers leave the team, but financially, the deal made sense. Coed Softball is a business, and we have to operate under the financial constraints upper management puts on us," commented manager Aylward.

The Swingers are 3-5 with 2 scheduled contests left and an oppurtunity to reach .500 for the season. It is unclear if any rained out games will be rescheduled. Next Monday's game is a 6:30pm start against the Mayco Sharks, and good seats still remain. Call the Swinger's ticket office today!

- Dan Higa

Swingers season statistics.

Swingers Softball Recap (6/27/05)

The Swingers broke out of a 3 game losing streak, beating Master Batters by a 16-6 mark on Monday night, despite playing without All Stars Jarrod Ross and Erik Gutierrez. Ross and Gutierrez are both serving suspensions for violating the league's new substance abuse policy, and it is unclear when either will return.

While Ross refused to comment, Gutierrez pleaded his innocence in a press conference before Monday's game. "My lawyers and I agree, what the league found in my urine sample was cattle steroids. I ate at Outback the night before the game, and that's how it got in my system." Commisioner Bud Selig is unconvinced. "We will pursue the maximum penalty," he said. It is rumored that Ross may flee the country and join the German Women's Swim Team rather than face a suspension.

Faced with the loss of their two marquee players the Swingers called up reinforcements from AAA Monkey's Eyebrow, NM. Adam Tsacoumangos's contract was purchased from the Poo Flingers of the Pacific Coast League, and Lindsay Mendro, already on the 40 man roster, was called up. Both made big impacts in their major league debuts. Tsacoumangos was 2-3 with a homerun and 3 RBI's, while Mendro was the first female to play left field and not allow a ball to pass her on the ground all season. She also contributed a 2 RBI single in the first inning.

The story of the night for the Swingers was their 12 run first frame, in which they scored their first 7 runs without the benefit of a hit. 8 of the first 10 batters walked to start the inning, and the Red Devils never looked back. Eric Ridenhour was credited with the victory for his two innings of work in which he allowed 6 runs, but the story on the mound was Jason Brunick, who came on in relief and tossed 3 shutout innings while walking just 1 batter. "He was working both sides of the plate, changing speeds, keeping hitters off balance," said manager Christine Aylward, who also caught Brunick. The outting lowered Brunick's ERA to 8.75, making him the only Swinger pitcher with an ERA under 18.

Defensively the Swingers sparkled, playing their first error free game of the year. Brunick helped himself out of a jam in the 4th inning by gunning down a runner at home with the bases loaded, and Brian McChesney added a nifty stab on a scorching linedrive down the first base side. Even when things went poorly for the Red Devils they managed to make plays. Bobbi "The General" Closser appeared to have caught a weak line drive in the 5th inning, but with typical Confederate flair, she dropped the ball. However, short shortstop Dan Higa was backing up on the play. Higa pounced on the loose ball, pivoted on one knee, and threw a strike to Amber Moodie-Dyer who was alertly covering second for a fielders choice.

With the season entering the home stretch the Swingers still have an oppurtunity to make a run. Several players have been turning in solid performances, and even without Ross and Gutierrez, the Red Devils can still field a solid Lineup. Jamaal Granger continues to produce offensively, leading the team in hits with 9 and runs scored with 10. Melanie Ureta, an offseason acquisition, has also paid handsome dividends. Ureta leads all women with 9 runs scored and 4 RBI. Two players quietly putting together solid years are Bobbi "The General" Closser and Dan Higa. Closser is hitting .444, while Higa ranks in the team's top 3 in every major offensive category. Ron Sturm has also stepped up. Despite a .222 average, Sturm has driven in 6 runs.

Tsacoumangos and Mendro join Katie Stemmler as the team's 3 rookie callups. When asked about their prospects to stick with the big club, manager Aylward said, "We're always looking for oppurtunities to improve our ballclub. Katie has done a good job for us since she's been here, and I'm sure we can find some at bats for Adam. We're still not sure what we want to do with Lindsay." It is unclear whether the Swingers will accept a Cubs fan on the roster. "I don't trust any Northsider fan," commented Higa, "The bad vibes from 97 years of losing could put us in an even deeper hole." Other members of the team were also skeptical. "I'm sure she won't fit in," said Kristen Babb. Jerico Collins added, "She'll bring the curse of the billy goat with her. Mark my words." Collins, however, had reason to celebrate after notching his first big league hit. "It's a huge weight off my shoulders," Said Collins.

The Swingers have a bye for the holiday weekend, and take the field again on July 11th against Mike Duffy's. Good seats still remain, call the Swinger's ticket office today!

- Dan Higa

Swingers season statistics.

The purpose of falling is to get back up.

(that was paraphrased from Batman Begins)

First, I hurt my ankle playing soccer yesterday. I went to pivot and make a pass, and I felt a pop in my left ankle. Thankfully, the x-ray today was negative...it was just a ligament strain. I think I'll only be on the DL for a couple of weeks, at most.

Then, I crashed my desktop computer today after attempting to add 1 GB of RAM to the 512 MB that was already installed. After discovering that a house call from the Geek Squad would cost at least $150, I decided to troubleshoot the problem myself. After much searching and nearly giving up, I determined that I had fried one of the memory modules...thankfully it was only a 256 MB one.

Missed it by that much.

I posted a personal best (out of all 2 races I've run) of 29:17 in the Komens St. Louis Race for the Cure 5K this morning. This was 17 seconds slower than my goal. I guess I need to train harder...or start training...

Swingers Softball Recap 6/6/05

Monday night was an oppurtunity for the Swingers. Newly bolstered by the return of all star Erik "K" Gutierrez, and facing a weak Mikey Duffy's team, the Red Devils were in a perfect position to grab a win and perhaps gain some momentum. Instead, they squandered it away. The Swingers got acceptable pitching and played solid defense, but for the second straight game failed to get the offense into gear, losing 12-2.

The story of the evening was the return of "K" Gutierrez from a knee injury suffered in the off season. When asked before the game what "K's" return meant to the Swingers, manager Christine Aylward said this, "'K' is great on both sides of the ball, defensively and offensively. I think his return is the spark this team needs." Unfortunately for the Swingers, it was not to be. While "K" played his usual solid defense in left center field, he managed only an 0-3 at the plate, flying out to the warning track in all three at bats. "They made me get off the juice for my rehab," said "K," "Now that I'm healthy again I can start bulking back up with a little help from my trainer and his products." When asked to comment on his teammate's apparent lack of power, Eric "C" Ridenhour commented, "He just got back on the drugs, give them some time to work." Manager Aylward would not comment when asked about her players and steroid use.

The Red Devils were forced to go with emergency pitcher Jamaal Granger to start the contest, due to the late arrival of scheduled starter "C" Ridenhour, and the departure of Jason Brunick to attend to personal matters. Granger had some pitching experience from last year, and did an admirable job filling in for the Swingers. He allowed 8 runs in his 3 innings of work, while striking out 1 and walking 4. "I didn't feel quite comfortable on the mound," Granger said afterwards, "I was just trying to keep us in the game, and make my pitches when I had to." The Red Devils stepped up defensively to help Granger, with "K" Gutierrez making several nice plays in left center field, and Obi Orjih laying out to make a diving stop on a line drive in the 3rd inning. Although the umpire called an out on the catch, Orjih made the throw to first base just to be sure. It was Orjih's first good throw to first all year. "I wasn't thinking about it, I just reacted," commented the shortstop. The same could not be said of short shortstop Dan Higa, who replaced Orjih in the 4th inning. Higa's throwing error in the 5th kept the inning alive long enough to allow Duffy's to score their final 3 runs.

Offensively the Swingers had few bright spots, but among them was Jarrod "J-Rod" Ross's second home run of the season, a blast that traveled 458 feet to the power alley in left center field. "I was just looking for a pitch to drive," commented "J-Rod," "He threw me a fastball up, and I hammered it." When asked for comment "K" Gutierrez said, "Obviously he's still on the juice." Christine "Awkward" Aylward also showed some signs of life, collecting her second hit in as many games. "Awkward" had been in an 0 - 6 slump before her recent hitting streak. "I'm starting to see the ball better," commented Aylward. Also encouraging were Amber Moodie-Dyer's two walks, improving her on base percentage to .500, despite flailing at an ugly pitch in the 3rd. However, Moodie-Dyer is still one of 4 Swingers who are hitless on the season.

Looking for any way to spark her team, manager Aylward has introduced 6 awards to be handed out at the end of the season. Male and Female awards will be handed out for Gold Glove, Silver Slugger (best hitter) and MVP, along with other miscellaneous awards to be announced in the future. Upon hearing this announcement, competition in the clubhouse quickly erupted. "Nobody on this team hits better than I do," stated "J-Rod," "At least the rest of us can spell our names," responded Bobbi "The General" Closser. Award winners will be chosen by team voting.

The Swingers will look to get back on track next Monday night against Office Average, the only team they've defeated this year. First pitch is at 8:30pm, and good seats still remain! Call the Swinger's ticket office today.

- Dan Higa

Swingers season statistics.

Swingers Softball Recap 5/16/05

If Monday night had been a charity walk event, it would have been a resounding success. Instead, it was a messy softball game that the Swingers fumbled away in the final frame.

The Swingers came out of the gate strong and scored 12 runs in the top of the first inning, taking advantage of 8 free passes issued by the home team's pitcher. Dan Higa and Melanie Ureta both walked to lead off the frame, and the bases were loaded on Jamaal Granger's single to shallow right center field. Bobbi "The General" Closser then delivered the first blow with a bases clearing single up the middle for her first 3 RBI's of the year. It was a breakout game for "The General", who went 2-3 with 3 RBI and 2 runs scored, pushing her average up to .286. "The tablet a couple of weeks ago said, 'Thou shalt keep thy front shoulder in at the plate,' and it worked out for me," commented Closser. "Now if she could only catch the ball at third," added teammate Obi Orjih. There was clear tension between the two players, especially during the bottom of the 4th inning, when Orjih was heard yelling at Closser from the dugout, "I'm gonna tear your head off!" After Closser's single, Jarrod Ross broke a streak in which had had reached base in every at bat this season. Ross grounded out to short stop. "I didn't get my puffy fix, and it showed today," said Ross. Whether this is a reference to steroids or something else remains unclear. Kristen Babb followed with a walk, and came around to score on manager Christine Aylward's RBI walk. It was Babb's first run scored of her career. "We think Kristen is coming around. She knocked a base hit last game, this game she scores a run. We're looking for her to continue to improve," commented Aylward. "Of course she'll improve," stated Ron Sturm, "it doesn't get any worse." When asked to comment on her team's loss Babb said, "Yeah, but we won at pool later on, so it's all good."

By the end of the top of the first the swingers had sent 16 men to the plate, and scored 12 runs on 8 walks and 4 hits. Pitcher Eric Ridenhour, however, did not have his best stuff. The usually accurate hurler walked 11 batters and surrendered 4 home runs in his worst outting of the season. "I wasn't locating my fastball, and when you can't establish the fastball, then the breaking pitches don't help you any," said Ridenhour. "He couldn't have hit the broad side of a barn from 3 feet away," remarked short shortstop Dan Higa when asked about Ridenhour's wildness. The few pitches Ridenhour threw for strikes routinely landed over outfielder's heads, in what was a tough game defensively for Jamaal Granger and Jarrod Ross. "The Juice only helps you hit, it does nothing for your defense," said Ross. Ridenhour gave up 21 earned runs and ballooned his ERA to 18.20, while dropping his record to 1-2.

The Red Devils appeared to be in control of the contest until the final two frames, when pitching woes and defensive miscues doomed them to failure. The Swingers commited 8 errors in the final two innings, costing them 9 unearned runs. Those 9 runs became the difference in a 30-23 loss. It was a particularly rough night for Jerico Collins, who commited a costly 3 run error in right center field, and struck out in his only plate appearance. "He looks like Homer Simpson at the plate," commented catcher Amber Moodie-Dyer, "He's fat, dumb, and balding. It's really too bad he doesn't hit like Homer." For her part, Moodie-Dyer reached base twice with a pair of walks, and scored both times.

When asked to comment about the game manager Christine Aylward had this to say, "We're encouraged by the way the offense has sparked the last two games, but whenever you score 23 runs, you should win the ballgame. Erik had a rough day, but it happens. I'm more concerned with the way our defense fell apart in the last few innings." The Swingers take on the Mayco Sharks next Monday night at 7:30, and good seats still remain. Call the Swinger ticket office today!

- Dan Higa

Swingers season statistics.

Chino's a pimp.

My youngest brother, Nedu, had possibly the best game of his volleyball career against Webster Groves today. Unfortunately, I was not there. Here's his stat line: 21 attempts, 2 errors, 15 kills, 3 block kills.

Here's an actual exchange that took place on the Webster bench during the third game:

Coach: Alright, they've only really got one hitter on their team.
Player 1: Who?
Coach: You know...the big black guy...number 5...
Player 2: So what are we supposed to do?
Coach: Well...hope they don't set it to him...

Jarrod Ross is my new hero

We ran the St. Louis 5K (3.1 miles) in Forest Park this morning. He finished in 21:46, while I came in at 29:43...I'm such a bum. You can check out the results (a full listing or by age group) here.

UPDATE: Check out pictures of me and Jarrod at the finish line.

It's over...

and I feel like crying...

ILL...sob...ini

2005 MLB predictions.

Here's what the ESPN.com "experts" are saying.

They all pick the Cardinals to win the NL central, but only two think that they'll make it back to the Series. Here are Obi's picks:

AL East: Yankees
AL Central: Twins
AL West: Angels
AL Wildcard: Red Sox
NL East: Marlins
NL Central: Cardinals
NL West: Padres
NL Wildcard: Dodgers
World Series: Cardinals over Twins

AL MVP: Vladimir Guerrero
AL Cy Young: Johan Santana
AL RotY: Dallas McPherson (I don't know who he is)
NL MVP: JD Drew (same incorrect pick the last 4 years)
NL Cy Young: Oliver Perez
NL RotY: JD Closser (I'm not sure if I know who he is)

Anyone notice how half my award picks are on my fantasy team?

We're goin to the 'ship!

ILLini.

God, Final Four tickets are expensive.

I tried to bid for 3 separate pairs of tickets to all sessions of the Final Four, and was outbid each time. My final bid on the last auction was $901...it went for $911. The one before went for $1025, though my max bid was only $800.

I officially quit. So close, but yet so far...

I'm freakin' out!

Oh my god! Greatest feeling EVER!

I must admit, I turned the TV off when we went down 10 with about 5 minutes left. While surfing the web, I couldn't help but check the score. The first time, not much had changed...in fact we were down more. When I checked again, the score was tied with 30 seconds left. I rushed to turn the game back on.

Watching OT was a roller coaster. The highs of Deron nailing the three...the lows of giving up the easy bucket or offensive rebound. And then the last play...that sucks for Arizona fans that they didn't even get off a good shot. Oh well...

Wow. Looks like I might need to contact some scalpers about next weekend after all...

Year of the ILLini.

Who wants to go to the Final Four?

Seriously...it's in St. Louis this year...and the Illini are playing like they deserve to be in it.

Especially tonight...19-0 #1 vs. 38-game home winning streak (the longest active in the nation). As Dick Vitale would not stop saying all night, something had to give. And the boys from a little town called Champaign prevailed...though not without nearly giving me a heart attack.

On a somewhat related note, the NCAA Wrestling Championships are also in the Lou this spring, and I already (pretty much) have a ticket in the Boeing suite to the finals. The Illini wrestlers are 10-1 on the year, their only loss coming to #1 Oklahoma State, and are ranked #2.

March could be a good championship month in St. Louis for us...

I made a girl cry today.

It wasn't intentional. It was during an indoor soccer game. I was the goalie. One of their players lofted the ball into the box, so I went for it. In the process of catching the ball, this girl's head got in the way of my elbow. After I caught the ball, I looked to see who I had just knocked down, and saw her sobbing on the ground. I felt really bad about it...

...until she got up. When the ref ruled (correctly) that it was our kick from the spot because the goalie always has the right to the ball, she went ballistic...even dropping an f-bomb at him during the exchange. As a result she received a yellow card. Even after the game, as we were shaking hands, a couple of their teammates told me that there was nothing wrong with what I did. They even had to placate her afterwards and explain how the goalie is allowed free reign in pursuit of the ball, even if a girl is in the way. My teammate, Dan, commented that she was going to make the guy who marries her very miserable for the rest of his life.

And the player of the game is...

...#88, Chinedu Orjih.

Tonight was my brother's last football game as a Parkway North Viking. And he ended his high school career in style, snagging 2 picks and forcing a fumble. Before the game, my mom and I escorted him during the Senior Night procession.

I almost didn't get to see his big plays. I was leaving the game because I was too cold, when I ran into Ms. Carter, one of my favorite high school teachers, and Caroline, Alan's girlfriend/ex-girlfriend. While I was talking to them, I heard the crowd go nuts. I turned around and Nedu was running back his first interception of the game. Of course I also went insane. I ran back to my mom and celebrated with her. By now my brother's fan section was in full gear, chanting his name. The fun didn't end there. The Pioneers looked poised to score on their next drive when Nedu intercepted a pass in the end zone, calmly taking a knee and handing the ball to the ref. He forced the fumble a couple of possessions later. These plays were made even more significant by the fact that the game ended in a 9-0 win for the Vikings.

Hammertime Hit!

The high school football game between Parkway North, my alma mater, and St. Charles West was the Charter Communications High School Football Game of the Week (meaning they broadcast it on local access TV) this weekend. My brother, Nedu, plays for the PNH Vikings. Since I couldn't make it to the game, I watched the replay of the game with my family tonight.

The Vikings started dismally, going down 20-0 in the second quarter. They scored right before and right after halftime, and seemed to shift the momentum, now trailing only by 6. On the ensuing drive, the Warriors ran a QB option on their second play. The Vikings defense was all over it, but the QB was barely able to make the pitch before being corralled. However, as soon as the RB caught the ball, the Vikings stand-out defensive back, #88, flattened him like a pancake for a 5-yard loss. The announcers went crazy, immediately proclaiming the tackle the "Hammertime Hit!" of the game. FYI, #88 is my brother.

Unfortunately, Nedu was beat deep for 40 yards on the next play...though he was a mere inches from making a pick. In the end, the Vikings lost, 35-21, and were eliminated from advancing in the playoffs.

We're goin' to the 'ship!

GO CARDS!!!

I nominate myself for Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Manager of the Year.

Those who are in leagues with me know what I'm talking about.

For those who aren't, I won the championship in both the Fantasy Football and Fantasy Baseball leagues pretty handily this past year. And I'm off to another amazing start in football. My league-mates might as well just start sending me their entry fees for this season.

My second MLB playoff game.

Nothing beats free tickets to watch the Cardinals beat the Astros 6-4 to take a 2-0 lead in the NLCS. Too bad it was rainy and butt-arse cold...but then again, that was the reason I got the ticket in the first place.

I am now attempting to proliferate the nickname "Murderer's Row" for the Cardinals line-up. Is there a bigger masher in all the land than Albert Pujols? I think not...Barry Bonds doesn't count cuz he's on a planet of his own...and he's out of the playoffs. Phat Albert was getting the MVP chant (and a Most Valuable Pujols sign) all night...then he hit the eventual game-winning home run. Rolen got the chant, too, when he followed it up w/ the tail end of back-to-back jacks (also his second big fly of the evening). But neither he nor Edmonds, both probable top 5 or 6 in MVP voting, compare to Al. Also, I should travel back in time about 2 months and slap myself in the face for proclaiming that Larry Walker was an unnecessary acquisition.

But that's not to say that the Astros don't have a damn scary line-up of their own. Though the elder two of the Killer B's, Biggio and Bagwell, are showing their age, the other two give me heart attacks every time they come up to the plate. Lance Berkman is so formidable he has been dubbed El Matador by the Chuk governing council for some time now. And Carlos Beltran is still My Daddy. He homered in his first at-bat for the second consecutive night. Jordan called him the third best hitter in the league behind Bonds and Pujols...I'm not going to question that claim. What I am questioning is why he's hitting second in their line-up, though I freely admit it is pretty stacked. In any case, I hope to get him to tuck me in and read me a bedtime story tonight.

My first MLB playoff game.

Talk about excitement! Busch Stadium was packed...I believe 52,323 was the official attendance. Even finding parking was a PITA.

In the end, the Cardinals were victorious...though not without a few heart attack-inducing moments. The final score was 10-7, and they took a 1-0 lead in the NLCS. You can read about it here.

Most noteworthy thought: from now on, I will refer to Carlos Beltran as "My Daddy". He jacked one home run and crushed another long ball about 20 feet foul into the upper deck...two sections from where I was sitting.

The Nigerian government thinks I'm gay.

Another friend of mine named Joe sent me this story, and it broke my heart:

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/sport/football/articles/13469123

My analysis:

1. Braided/dreadlocked hair - check.
2. Earring - check.
3. My chances of ever playing on the Nigerian national soccer team - gone.
   

Steve Kim's MLB playoff picks.

yanks over twins in 4. santana finna win one game and have one blown by his bullpen. thats what i think or else santana would hersheiser his way to the 'ship.

angels over sox in 5. sox are weak after schilling i feel. pedro will have to call the angels his daddy as well this october which is why i feel the sox will lose. broyson or whatever his name is, is going down. colon and the bullpen are solid late in the season

cubs over atlanta. oh wait, THEY LOST. hahahaha.

houston over atlanta in 4. atlanta was built to survive, not to win. thats the result of a cut payroll. houston has clemens and oswalt and lidge. DOPE.

LOU over LA in 4 as well. the trio of batters and trio of pitchers from the LOU will make this happen. to clarify, trio of pitchers would be marquis, carpenter, and morris. williams is fine, but i think matty will step up for his suckiness during the season.

yanks over angels in 6. angels will piss the yanks off for 2002's loss in the playoffs. its payback time. plus brown should be healed completely by then hopefully or at least close.

lou over houston in 7. the lou must be pissed after getting swept in the season finale. houston is riding some momentum though, so i pick this in 7.

yanks over lou in 7. i could actually go either way on this, but this is going 7 i feel. that is all. hopefully ichiro is traded to the yanks during the offseason and makes sweet love to matsui.